In a few minutes it will officially be Monday, the day of my last chemo! Chemo #8!
I have awaited this day for what seems like forever. The end of this portion of the journey is now so close I can feel it. I know I will be sick for over the next week to week and a half and will have nasty stabbing, deep set bone pain and fatigue. But at least I know this will be the LAST time for these things. Also, the horrible taste in my mouth that makes most foods and beverages non-appealing will now disappear in a few weeks (I hope!).
There will be some foods that I will probably never want to come near again. The foods that became the only food I could tolerate during this time. These foods will bring back far too many memories.
I am looking forward to being able to address the cleaning of my house and getting things back in order. Both have suffered tremendously during and since the beginning of my surgeries and treatments.
I am looking forward to getting the feeling back in my fingers and toes/feet. I am really frustrated with the chemo brain issue (problems with memory) that started to occur about two months ago, so here again, I am very much looking forward to that disappearing too. And the intense hot flashes and night sweats.....oh, I won't miss those! I am hoping they will go back to the way they were prior to chemo. They were there, but nothing on this level!
Oh, and of course hair growth. And needing to use deodorant again! Not that I don't like not having to use deodorant, but at the same time, there is a comfort of normal involved to need to use it! And my hair is now fuzzy enough that others are noticing it is coming back in, too. Mostly white and I don't care. I'll take it!
There were a few times that I wondered if I would ever get to chemo #8, for various reasons. But here I am. And I am glad to be here. There are some deep feelings that come with this point in the journey. Accompishment. Relief. Anticipation of the future. Renewed priorities in life. A new set of goals to address. The wariness of knowing I always be afraid of the cancer returning. The always wondering if this or that is a "sign" of cancer.
I am eager to keep moving on. I embrace the start of the next portion of my journey. I am scared of the next portion of my journey.
I will post again, as there are some things I would like to mention that I haven't. In fact there will probably be a number of posts over the next couple of months. But after that I hope to be able to concentrate on my new blog sunnyside2morrow.blogspot.com. And of course, everyone is welcome to visit me there too!
Four more minutes to Monday! Yep, the date in time that means so much! Talk to you again soon!
9 comments:
Congrats, Sweetheart!
Ya made it!
Love ya always.
How WONDERFUL!!
Mary - I am SO pleased for you.. Here's to you
*raising glass of whatever you are having*
Minerva
Congratulations, Mary. You have much to be thankful for this day as you are so very close to being done with the chemo and all its nasty side-effects that seem to linger far too long. I hope this one hasn't been too bad for you and that you will be able to enjoy even a little turkey today. There was a time you didn't think you would mak it to this place -- the end of chemo (even as far as chemo number 2!). Look back now and realize how very strong and determined you are. Happy Thanksgiving indeed!
We both did it! Last one is done and now we just have to get through the next few weeks to start to feel almost normal! This is my first attempt at being online since Monday because this time, the last time, just for fun I guess, the effects hit me right away. I've been too tired and felt too crappy to do anything. You were on my mind, though, as they set up the drip for the last time and I knew that you were experiencing the same thing. Now I want to take a few minutes before the Thanksgiving Dinner I won't enjoy because everything will taste "off" to say I'm glad we've both made it this far and now, at last, I'm beginning to see a different future, without the dead feeling inside. I'm looking forward to feeling strong and riding my bike again. I do have radiation yet to get through, but this phase is done! It's good to put it behind, isn't it?
Woot! No more chemo! Yay!
I am so happy that you made it to this new turning point :)
In fact, I was wondering if you'd mind me including this post in the next edition of Real Cancer, Real Lives?
I think it would make a great addition to the project!
I feel very honored. Thank you. You are more than welcome to use this post in your next edition of Real Cancer, Real Lives.
Mary
Congrats on the last treatment!
I know exactly what you mean about the foods that will bring back far too many memories. I will neve eat yogurt, hot dogs, or green apples EVER AGAIN. lolol
Happy New Year, Mary!
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