This and That

I will start out with parts of recent conversations that I either a) am looking at much differently today than I would have in as little time as just over a month ago or b) find interesting in a weird sort of way.

Upon finding out I have cancer, this person responded with, “Wow, you look so healthy.”

Do we have preconceived ideas on what someone with cancer should look like? To me, actually, the scary part is that, not only do I look healthy, but I feel healthy. Oh, there are a couple of minor things that I am now adding together and realizing they may (or may not) have something to do with my having cancer. But in reality? If a doctor had not told me I have cancer, I would never have known. Now THAT is scary. How long could I have gone with cancer in my body and not know it? How long before it would have made me look unhealthy? What are my odds now? What would my odds have been had I not found out when I did?

Another recent conversation with another person…… In a reference to a male worker in a workplace – “He chases after anything with breasts.” Granted, I found this to be a comment that I have heard in various forms over the years. This time when I heard it, I couldn’t help but take note. It was the criteria and the plural; breasts. Once again I found myself mulling over the role a woman’s breasts (yep, there is that plural again) play in our society. Yes, I have always been aware of this, but now it is taking on a much different slant as I my unilateral mastectomy is approaching a week from today.

Where does a one-breasted woman fit in? Do they make one-side bras for those of us daring enough to go without a fake one if we opted out of doing reconstruction of some type? I haven’t checked, but I bet not. How about strapless evening gowns? Now that could be a real challenge. (I think I will pass, thank you. I am very comfortable in jeans!) I never did participate in a wet tee-shirt contest at any time in my life. Just wasn’t my style. Guess I won’t be trying it anytime soon either. I can only imagine the looks and reactions that one would get!

In my quest of finding options to consider, I do know they sell breast forms on eBay. I was looking the other night. As I was reading the descriptions, sizes and prices, my daughter (19) was on her computer next to me, watching me, shaking her head and saying “There is something really wrong with this family!” And of course she immediately instant messaged someone to tell them. Personally, I think it is perfectly normal to look for life’s much needed items on eBay!

Upon checking out breast forms I found they seem to have this unique sizing thing going on. Perhaps it is even more difficult to me as I haven’t worn or bought a bra in many years. I don’t have a clue what size bra would fit right now while I still have two breasts. How the heck do I figure out what size breast form I will need to “match” the breast left after surgery? The end result is supposed to be that I am able to fit both the real and the fake into a bra and have both look “natural”.

Deciding to check things out further, I surfed over to some web sites where selling breast forms are their main business. There, they are listed in sizes ranging from 1 through 17 or so. The bras for them are sized 28AA through 50DD. (Maybe the doctor could just sew some Velcro on my chest while I am in surgery. That would take care of needing a bra.) And then you have different shapes for the forms that need to be figured out, such as triangle, symmetrical, wide base, heart-shaped with tapered edges, underarm extensions, teardrop, modified triangle and more. Then there is the “nipple” thing. Guess what folks, there seems to be a multitude of those out there, too. I think this is so you can attach them to the forms that don’t have them built in to look even more “natural”. If that isn’t enough choices, then there are also various materials used for making the breast forms. Different materials for different purposes. Casual, swimwear, evening, etc. After thinking about it, one that takes on water wouldn’t work out too well for swimming. So I guess it does make some sense.

Prices for all this? Step over cancer unit, because they came close to putting me into a cardiac care unit! They are not in the low-end or even middle price range. It was nothing to see breast forms for $189.00 each on up to $300.00. They certainly know how to take advantage of a woman’s vulnerability! Some of them appeared to be made out of the same type of material and were roughly the same size as toys I remember buying for my kids fifteen years ago. Price for those toys? High end was $9.99 each. Even with inflation, I doubt those toys are $200.00 now. So what gives here? Is it because some insurance companies pay for them? Is it because they know a woman will want to look as good and as normal as possible and will be willing to pay whatever price necessary to do so? Where does that leave women, like myself, that don’t have money and don’t have insurance? Simple enough, but a sad fact. It looks like we do without. Whether we want to or not.