Ok and OK edited!

Today is Thursday, July 21, 2005

This was my original post on Saturday, July 16, 2005....BEFORE the spiral dive straight into hell, the emergency room visit and the hospital stay!

I'm back!

This is going to be a short entry. Still don't have all my strength back.

Chemo took me by surprise and really kicked me in the butt! Got blessed with some duzy migraines, one right on top of another! Major problems with the stomach which was probably brought on by the combination of chemo and migraines. Maybe the same thing with the extreme weakness. Everything became a major effort to achieve. Walking even became a problem. Did a lot of sleeping. And sweating. And uggghhhh oh how the smells are getting to me. They are coming at me from everywhere! Totally lost four days out of my life. That one pisses me off!

But, I wanted to let everyone know, I am feeling somewhat better today and I will be writing more later hopefully.

And, hell no, chemo isn't going to keep me down forever damn it!

Reflecting back on that post is very interesting to me.

At that point, I thought losing four days was bad! HAHAHA! Joke was on me. All told, I lost 9 days into oblivion! I really did think, on Saturday, when I started to get a bit of an appetite back and was feeling like maybe a little strength was coming back, that things were starting to look up. But within about 12 hours that took a severe turn and this time the spiral fall went fast!

Optimistic is great, but not always accurate! So from now on I will be gentler with that glass of fluid. It will be comprised as follows: the top half will be half air and the bottom half will be half fluid, the glass will be glass. It will neither be half full nor half empty. It will simply be. I can hold on to that for right now. I am fine with it. I will add more fluid as I go along and then never worry about whether it is half full or half empty again!