Those were the days …. And then there is Now …..

Please, oh please, take me back to the good old days of the $100.00 wonder cars. Those great cars that looked rough and the mileage was some figure that no one could verify because the odometers didn’t go that high. They could last you anywhere from one day to five years. But heck, for a $100.00 (and often less) you would take a chance and it would get you by.

Today’s $100.00 wonder comes in at around two grand. Sure, there are cars out there for less ... and those are REALLY scary!

Ok, so now we have established the baseline. $2,000.00 will get you a car that generally has around 150,000 to 200,000 miles on it and it is guaranteed that grandpa didn’t put those miles on. That is a lot of money for a car that might make it one day or five years. Big crap shoot!

Working our way up to a car that has mileage that makes sense (maybe), looks reasonable and actually runs to boot, a person is now looking at $6,000 and up. And sure, everyone has that type of money just sitting in their wallet waiting to go to their nearest car dealership.

So, now we have established the first of the criteria, a person has to get a LOAN to get a car. But there is a catch. In order to get a loan you have to have credit of some type. Heck, even bad credit counts as credit of some type. If you don’t have credit, you can’t get a loan to establish credit. It doesn’t matter how good your job is, you still need credit to get credit.

So, now we have established the second criteria. If you have no credit, you will need a co-signer. And the co-signer has to have credit AND they seem to think the co-signer should have a job too. Geez, this is getting so complicated!

All my daughter wants is a car she can 1)afford (which personally I think is a very good idea to keep it in that range) 2) that looks reasonably nice (nothing fancy mind you, just not dented, rusted, crappy looking) as she has a job that it does make a difference, 3) is big enough to hold the photo studio setup she needs to cart around, but efficient enough to still get good gas mileage as her job requires a lot of traveling, 4) a car that will last that traveling she has to do for her job (Wisconsin, Illinois, Iowa, Michigan, Indiana and sometimes even as far away as Pennsylvania etc.) and 5) that will hopefully last long enough to make it beyond the final payment. Is that too much too ask?

YEP! It seems it is. There is a definite conflict here. Price versus the rest of the needs. Then add the fact that she doesn’t have any credit yet and needs a co-signer that has both credit and a job. Well, I fit one of the two. I have credit. Maybe not the best in the world, due to various circumstances, but I have credit all the same. Lucky me. But the job thing .... well, we all know what happened to that the day I told my boss of nine years that I have cancer! End of job! Vanished. Evaporated into thin air! Amazing how I could be so needed and appreciated for nine years and have it change in two seconds! (I’ll have to remember to write him a thank you note someday! ...never mind, I would probably be arrested if I did that!)

In my previous post I noted that my daughter had a pre-approved loan at a dealership, (which is another very long story) and that is where we went today. When we got there we met with the salesman that we had been dealing with on the phone up to this point. I will refer to him from here on as “Mr. F” (no I am not being a smart ass ... his name did actually start with F). My daughter and I had already checked out their used cars on their website and had an idea of what would fit in her price range. As we started looking around the lot, Mr. F. filled us in on a little information he seemed to have forgotten to tell us on the phone prior to driving the 70 miles to his car lot. The loan is only good for a certain type and name brand of car. AND he only has one car that fits the requirements.

My daughter and I looked at each other and we didn’t even have to speak to know what we were each thinking! But, because of the bind she is in right now (no car, a job that has to have a car, and only one day every two weeks that she can even look for a car, because otherwise she is on the road for her job) she decided to at least check it out. When we walked up to “THE” car, the look on her face was priceless. Problem one. Too small. Problem two, twice as much money as she said she wanted and felt comfortable to spend. When we asked what the interest rate would be? Mr. F. replied with “15.1% and the payments would be around $300.00 a month”. My daughter’s jaw dropped. Add insurance to that and she is looking at $450.00 a month ... maybe more, plus maintenance etc. Mr. F’s response, “well, at least it is a car that you can get a loan on.” Great! A loan that is way too much money, that most likely will become a major burden and end up in late payments or worse and I get to co-sign to boot! Wow, what a deal! NOT! By the way, the car was priced at $1500.00 over high blue book and they stated they couldn't lower the price because of THE special loan they were doing. Plus there were some major problems with the car. We didn’t just walk. We ran! Oh, we were nice about it. Thanked him and all that, but explained that she wants to make sure she can DO this and do it RIGHT. She is trying so hard to make sure she can afford the car and the insurance and that the car will fits her needs.

So now we are back to square one. No car. No credit. No loan. No immediate cash to buy one and no time to save to do so as a car is needed now. Not later. Later equals no job anymore. No job anymore….well I guess I don’t have to go into detail with that one!

So that was our day. If you are ever in Milwaukee looking to buy a car, we can tell you the names of a salesman and dealership you might want to avoid. Just drop me a line and I would be happy to provide the information.

We can also tell you the name of a dealership and a salesman that are great. Also in Milwaukee. (Part of the original long story that I haven’t told yet). Even though this salesman and this dealership have not been able put my daughter and a car together, the personalized care we have received has been fantastic. These people listen. These people care. These people will try very very hard to make something work. (The hangup we had is her lack of credit and my lack of job for co-signer status.) The dealership name? Saturn of Milwaukee. The salesman’s name: Brent Biesterfeld. And please, tell him Mary and Darci sent you. (The chemo-bald one and the tall one) No, we don’t get anything for the name dropping. We just want to let him know we appreciate everything he tried to do for us. There is another person there that deserves recognition too, Joyce in Financing. We can’t say enough good about these people. I never thought I would actually find a car dealership that I would ever recommend to anyone. But this one is different. Much different. Someday, we hope to be in a better position to be able to buy a car from them. Until that time, all we can do is pass along their names to others that may be in need of good care and a good vehicle.

My daughter just checked her voice mail on her cell phone and guess what. Mr F called and left a message for her. Quote "I have great news for you". Yah, I bet he does!

Current Events

1) Thank you Heather at http://epnurse.blogspot.com for helping me with my blog loading problem in IE. Your suggestion worked perfectly. Due to that, I knew what to look for in my hubby's blog and he fixed his as well.

2) Yep, Friday was blood draw day. Yep, after results were in, received the expected call from the oncologist office. This time they let me know my counts are "very dangerously low". We discussed, I told her I know the drill.... I also discussed that I am starting to wonder if the steriod I get with chemo and for the next two days after might be part of my getting so sick every time problem. She said I may have some valid concerns. I will be talking to my doctor soon.......

3) I am very glad that Rita did not do the damage that it could have, but I am still sad that it did still do damage. On a good note, I am very very glad that the people that could have been affected were not. I have heard from all but one of them and everyone was either not close enough to be affected or managed to evacuate. I am still waiting to hear from one though.......... but I am guessing they are fine with the way Rite ended up going.

4) Tomorrow, my daugher and I will do the thrilling task of going to a car dealership to buy a car. Her car blew up...oil and water now in places they shouldn't be ... a couple of weeks ago and it has been a very stressful time since. Loan places don't want to give loans to 19 year olds anymore without a co-signer and for some reason they seem to think the co-signer should be employed also, which as we know, I am not. Just seems no one has a sense of humor anymore. Due to a chain of events, which I will discuss when I am not so tired, a dealership finally agreed to work out a pre-approved loan for her and will allow me to co-sign. We have never been to this dealership (which is located in Milwuakee), so we have no idea what to expect, or what type of cars they have on their lot. After everything we have been through on this though, there are no choices but to buy a car on this lot. Otherwise she doesn't have a car and she will then be fired from her job. And if she is fired from her job, she won't be able to buy a car. And living in rural America the way we do, she has to have a car to have a job. There are no jobs to be had in this little burg we live in. As I think I have mentioned before, we even have to travel a minimum of 9 miles to get to the nearest gas station. So..... tomorrow could be interesting, but hopefully it will work out fine.

5) This is actually creepy…..

Study Finds Higher Rate of Disease in Left-Handed Women

My daughter is left handed.

Blogger / Blogspot Problem?

Sometime last week hubby and I both noticed a problem when some blogger blogs load in IE (Internet Explorer) including ours. I also just read on another blogger post that they too are having the same problem.

When bringing up either of our blogs in Firefox (which is the browser we use), they load fine. All columns, left and right, are where they should be. When loading in IE the posts column loads fine but the profile, links, etc column either doesn't load or it loads way far down on the page past the end of the posts column.

I have written to blogger concerning this, but have not received a reply.

Is anyone else having this problem? Does anyone know how to correct it?

May I not speak too soon....

Just a quick update... yes, I have been pretty darn sick again, but today, I am feeling somewhat better. Still very fatigued, stomach problems, eating problems etc. and I can tell my counts are dropping out, but I am certainly feeling better than the last few days. I am hoping I am not speaking too soon and things keep improving. :>)

On another note...

I am very concerned for the bloggers I correspond with who are in the Texas area where Hurricane Rita is projected to hit. Please.... may you and your loved ones be safe. My thoughts and prayers are with each of you.

On The Lighter Side

Your Superhero Profile

Your Superhero Name is The Vector Skier Your Superpower is Electrocution Your Weakness is Quizzes Your Weapon is Your Plasma Lance Your Mode of Transportation is Canoe

What's your Superhero Name?

My weapon is Plasma Lance......whoa..... Plasma = blood type stuff.....hmmm.... I think I will have to think about that one! But I do believe a canoe would be a good idea as I think I need something to keep me afloat right now!

My blood counts were low again last Friday.... really low. But I know the drill now... stay home, don't touch people, don't let them touch me, don't touch fresh fruits and veggies, watch my temperature, watch my blood pressure, yadda, yadda, yadda.

Tomorrow is chemo #4. The half way point. I am looking forward to it and dreading it, both at the same time. And for good reason! Both of them!

An interesting observation:

For years I have worn jeans. I have even managed to have jobs where jeans were ok in the office. For years, I have carried a comb in the back left pocket of my jeans. Always. It would get transferred from one days jeans to the next days jeans. Recently, I realized that I am still transferring that comb from one pair of jeans to the next. I don't know where I think I am going to find hair to comb, but I am still carrying the comb! I guess old habits really are hard to break!

Maybe I'm just looking forward to the day my hair grows back. It is already growing back, but certainly an eighth of an inch is not enough to warrant a comb yet. Oh, and by the way, for those that don't know me in person, my hair color prior to chemo - dark brown; my hair color as it is growing back in after chemo fallout - white with strands of dark brown throughout. And at this point it is white white..... not grey, white. I think it is kinda cool, but I may just be blinded by the fact that I am happy as hell it is growing back! I am hoping the new chemo drug Taxol, which I will be receiving for the last four chemo sessions, (after tomorrows chemo), doesn't make the little bit of growth I have fall out again.

Hopefully I will be posting again soon. Hopefully this chemo will be nicer to my body. If not, I will blog again as soon as I can.

The week that lasted forever.....

Have you ever had a week that lasted forever? And during that week were you so out of things that you actually missed the week all together? Well, that is how it has been for me for the last seven days……… the week from hell. I have been so damn sick that I wasn’t able to do anything. The simple things like getting out of bed, breathing, eating, talking, concentration, etc. were real problems! As the days came and went I realized they all just blended into each other.

I had chemo number three on Friday, September 2nd. I still had not recovered fully from chemo number two that was done two weeks earlier. I won’t bother to mention all the gory details…the summary: it hasn’t been fun. Tuesday was the worst day…..and I should have been scared out of my wits, but I was too sick to even care.

It has become obvious that I am not one of those people whose body just slides through chemo with minimum problems. Nope. My body hates chemo. That is all there is to it. And for those who are quick to say “just keep a positive attitude”, let me tell you, I have a positive attitude and it IS my positive attitude that is keeping me going. But, I am tired of hearing “just keep a positive attitude” And for those that like to sit there and pass judgment, making it seem like it is my fault. It isn’t.

After talking to a number of people that have either gone through chemo or had a close loved one go through it, there is a general agreement that the rosy picture the media and in some cases, even the medical profession, are trying to feed us that chemo has gotten so much better over the last few years is a very dangerous picture to paint. They are even doing it on TV commercials. You know the ones. The ones where they tell you “I’m ready for chemo now” because the patient will be taking this or that drug and they are going to do chemo and then go spend a wonderful time with their grandchildren etc. B.S. While that may be true for some, it is certainly not true for everyone. To be giving this type of idea to the general population is doing a terrible injustice to those that don’t have an easy time with chemo or other cancer therapies. It unjustly places fault directly on the patient at a time in their life that can be most damaging. A cancer patient has enough to contend with, they don’t need to be needlessly feeling like are a loser too.

A while back I read a comment left by a reader on a cancer blog that stated “Cancer requires a massive amount of bravery. I have known many people who have simply given up because of how miserable the treatment can make them.” In reference to this statement it becomes apparent that this person most likely has never dealt with cancer or the treatments first hand. Yes, there may be a few cancer patients that "simply give up" but for the majority, it is a much more complex decision than that. Cancer not only invades the body, it invades the emotional and mental well being of a person. Cancer is brutal. The treatments are brutal. Cancer does not just affect the person that has been diagnosed; it directly affects every person close to them.

For some cancer patients, they believe that to allow death is to allow life for everyone around them. For some, the pain they see and feel their loved ones deal with day in and day out, as the cancer patient deals with each issue, is very hard. They want to release that person from the pain. For some, they may not have the health care that is supportive enough. Some do not have the support of those around them. Some have information from their health care providers that they do not share with their loved ones. Some are told they aren’t “positive” enough. Some are even made to believe it is their entire fault, that if they had just lived a better life, they wouldn’t have gotten cancer. If that were the case, please explain to me why there are so many people on death row in prisons that have murdered people in horrible ways and done other human atrocities that are healthy as can be.

For those that think all it takes is a positive attitude, think carefully before you speak this thought to a cancer patient. And for those that think a cancer patient “simply gives up”, think again. Cancer is not simple. The decisions that have to be made once diagnosed are not simple. Until you walk in a cancer patient’s shoes, you will never know how it really feels or what it takes to deal with the issues involved.

If you are wondering after this rant, if I am deciding on not going through any more chemo…..wonder no further. I am continuing. I will succeed. I will survive. But I also am now learning that not only do I have to fight the chemo, I have to fight my body’s reaction to chemo.

And as far as being positive. Yep, I am positive. I am positive now that cancer sucks, chemo sucks, low blood counts suck, not being able to work sucks and only having occasional glimpses at a life right now sucks.